Thriving as a Digital Nomad Couple: The Magic of Solo Journeys
Introduction: Embracing the Digital Nomad Lifestyle Together, But Apart
We’ve been a digital nomad couple for 8 years, married for 6 years. Together, we’ve Schengen-shuffled multiples times over, held official residencies in three different countries, and fought and made up more times than we can remember.
As a married digital nomad couple, we spend most of our time together— living, (remote) working, and travelling side by side. It’s a lifestyle we love, but we’ve learned that taking time apart occasionally strengthens our relationship in surprising ways. Rather than seeing solo travel as a sign of disconnect, we view it as a powerful tool for growth. By allowing ourselves the space to explore individually, we each have the freedom to pursue our own interests, reflect on personal goals, and recharge in a way that benefits both of us.
These separate journeys aren’t about drifting apart; they’re about coming back together stronger. Note: this isn’t a free pass for us to date other people or act single.
At the heart of our decision to travel separately (sometimes) is a shared belief in the power of personal growth. Solo journeys offer us the opportunity to reflect on who we are as individuals, outside the dynamic of our relationship. It’s a healthy, intentional choice that brings balance and harmony to our nomadic lifestyle.
In this blogpost, we’re sharing our discoveries on personal and relationship growth through our solo journeys.
1. The Healthy Benefits of Time Apart for Couples
Avoiding Burnout
As a digital nomad couple perpetually on the road, we’re ALWAYS together. We spend more time than we ever did in any other ‘couple situation’. That’s the nature of the digital nomad lifestyle where work, travel and personal life all blend together in one day.
In any other couple scenario, we’d head to our respective workplace and meet back home after 5-6pm. After a busy few weeks, we’d go on a weekend getaway to recharge and spend quality time together.
But what do you do when your workplace is where the wifi is and that same place is also where you cook and eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and you’re always together 24/7 from the time you wake up to the time you shut your eyelids? And what happens when you don’t really go on a getaway because you’re permanently abroad in some foreign destination? Your travel companion, your lover, your lunch buddy, and the person you see while you work is the same person.
Outside of this (exact same) person, often, we hardly spend quality, intentional time with other humans. Unless they are shopkeepers, bus/taxi drivers, our hosts, some church friends or content creators we’ve connected with from social media.
It can be tiring and lead to emotional fatigue to spend every waking second with one same person. That’s a lot of time together, but not always intentional, quality time. There’s no fresh conversations, no new updates, and the conversation can get very admin-oriented and become stale.
did you switch off the oven after you took out the lasagna?
have you confirmed our flights for Greece yet?
babe, I’ve brought the laundry in, it’s super windy out.
ok, I’m going to be on my client call in 5.
He doesn’t need to tell me how the Tunisian fricassée upset his stomach, I heard him as he dashed to the bathroom. I don’t need to ask about his work day, we sync our calendars and I literally hear every single call he has. Likewise for him. We have no secrets, no mystery.
Travelling solo sparks fresh conversations, rekindles the mystery and allows us to reconnect.
Nurturing Personal Space
We’re both introverts – I’m an outgoing introvert but still require a lot of time in solitude, in deep contemplation preferably indoors. He’s an introvert too, but likes to recharge outdoors in nature. Our introverted tendencies make alone time even more essential.
Rediscovering Independence
As we spend 24/7 together, we look out for one another, we’re extremely aware of what our needs are. I know he needs to eat now, otherwise he’ll go into his meeting and feel beyond famished when it ends. So I’ll quickly prepare something or like a mama bear remind him to eat. He does the same for me, spoiling me by bringing me camomile tea, charging my laptop, charging my phone, cleaning my shoes or bag or luggage.
In travel, I handle the research for accommodation and things to do, he handles the admin and reservations and carries and unpacks the luggage, takes care of our passports (since I’m with Sean, I never know where my passport is, I just know he has it).
When we navigate our solo experiences, we are empowered to making and taking decisions. As we get back together, we take each other less for granted and have a renewed appreciation for what the other brings to our digital nomad couple lifestyle.
2. Personal Growth Through Solo Travel
Stepping Out of Comfort Zones
Any solo trip will challenge you to grow. It’s no different when you travel solo while in a digital nomad couple. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to step out of your own comfort zone and grow individually.
I think of the times Sean has attended tech meetups or conferences on his own in another destination. He usually leans on me for the social skills part. As for me, when I’m on my own, I need to handle and deal with all the tech crisis I face where usually I’ll just leave that to him to fix. Plus, I need to make my own tea (let that sink in 😉).
Self-Reflection and Business Retreats
I often use solo journeys as a chance to have a personal business retreat, focusing on big projects or self-reflection. This dedicated time away from distractions helps me dive deep into my work, allowing for personal and professional breakthroughs. I can set my own schedule – being a night owl I can stay up late and write down my thoughts at 3am, without bothering Sean as he likes to sleep around 9-1opm (I know!!!). I use that time to batch create video content, or prepare launches of new products in my business.
Pursuing Individual Interests
While I focus on work, my partner uses solo travel to connect with coworkers, attend team meetings, or take time off to enjoy hobbies (e.g a photography or kayak course—activities he loves but I’m not interested in). This balance gives us both the freedom to grow in ways that suit our unique needs.
Building New Skills
In my week away on my own, I would hone in on my craft of writing. Sometimes it would be modern calligraphy, other times it would be working with mentors to learn a specific skill related to novel writing. It could also mean a cultural immersion, any skill that you want to develop.
3. The Impact on Our Relationship
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Earlier, I mention how there’s no mystery. When we spend time apart we have a chance to miss the other. We can also get this if one of us goes out to work in a different place, but we’ve noticed that there’s more impact if we’re in completely different locations (city or country) and for several days at a time.
The truth is, even when he works from a coffee shop and I stay in our nomad nest to work, I’m tempted to ask him to pick up a few errands on the way back home, or he’s tempted to check if I need anything or I’ve eaten. When one of us is away on a solo trip, we aren’t fully aware of the schedule and are less likely to reach out for such requests.
Communicating While Apart
Of course, it does not mean we don’t check in on each other at all. We do our best to maintain connection without losing the benefits of solo space.
It’s different for everyone, but we’re not the lovey-dovey type to send romantic messages and I also don’t like phone calls. Sometimes, we’ll share a google doc with updates we can read whenever we want. Other times, we know how much contact we actually want. When I have my business retreat, I like to have a free schedule devoid of any appointments or be expected to answer/reply to messages. I generally arrange this when I know he’s also wanting to be off the hook for communication while he’s busy working at a weekly event or on his annual team meeting.
Stronger Together
We have felt renewed sense of affection, respect, and love for each other when apart. I admire all the things he does for us because my living space gets messier without him and a lot of other things that I observe which remind me what a wonderful man I married.
4. Practical Tips for Planning Solo Trips as a Couple
Setting Boundaries
Communicate clearly on expectations – from both sides. How long will you be gone for? How long do you want to spend apart?
We noticed that anywhere between 7-10 days is our sweet spot.
What are your personal needs? Make sure you communicate these too. For instance, on some trips, when I know there’s going to be a water activity involving potential ladies in bikinis, then I expect him to call me or send me regular updates that day. When he knows I’m with my family or a good friend, he doesn’t expect me to be available to call him or reply. Likewise when I know he’s going to be commuting lots, and in between airports or in another timezone, I usually don’t need to hear from him, unless there’s something wrong.
Choosing Destinations
One of the main challenges with digital nomad couples is that they sometimes want to visit different destinations. The solo trips are an ideal setup to select places and spaces that align with your individual interests or goals. Your needs will not be the same when you travel solo versus with your partner.
I love to be with people and so on my solo trips, I like to know people near me that I can reach out to. I also love more aesthetic, feminine spaces with a garden preferably. For my husband, he doesn’t need a kitchen like I do (food allergies) so he tends to book hotel rooms and he has no cooking, cleaning or chores to do.
What’s it for you? Maybe one of you wants to explore South East Asia but the other has an insatiable curiosity for Patagonia. Or one of you wants to attend an immersive retreat, while the other yawns at the mere thought.
Well, now you get to choose where you want to go, what activities you’ll do there, and how you’ll travel and sleep. Your own itinerary, at your pace, on your terms.
Budgeting and Timing
With that said, even if it’s on your own terms, you might still consider your lifestyle and finances as a couple. I will repeat again: a solo trip is not a permission slip for you to live like you’re single.
You will still consider the needs of your partner as you’re planning the solo trip. Both of you have to be on the same page about the timing and also your budget. If one of you has some disability, or health issue, it’s also imperative to discuss how you can still thrive and be safe while being apart.
5. Introverted Digital Nomads: Thriving on Time Alone
I add this section here for those of you who are introverted. As introverted digital nomads, we need downtime. It’s how we recharge, through solitude.
The solo journey can offer you more balance in your digital nomad life. You’ll find harmony between social interaction and quiet time. Going to bed alone without someone breathing (snoring) nearby or pulling the duvet too much. Spending your days in quietude without a voice interrupting your musings or whimsical daydreaming. Or for one of you, it might be that you recharge by doing a solo activity, moving and exploring. You might need solo space in different ways, and a solo trip allows you to do just that.
Conclusion: Embracing the Magic of Solo Journeys
To recap, the intentional time apart not only allows us to grow as individuals but also strengthens our relationship. When we reunite, we bring back new experiences, insights, and a sense of fulfillment that only deepens our bond. Solo travel doesn’t just refresh us as people; it refreshes our partnership, giving us the space to bloom together while still honouring our personal journeys.
We highly encourage you to consider the idea of travelling apart if you’re a digital nomad couple. Especially if you’re full-time or perpetual travellers. It’s a great tool for personal and relational growth. There are many stories we can share about the number of times we nearly broke up, and these solo trips have helped strengthen our bond … for better or worse, till death really does us part.
So, how can you incorporate solo travel into their own digital nomad journey? We hope the above has kickstarted your thinking. All the best!
